This may be a controversial opinion (especially in the coaching world) – but can we PLEASE stop listening to all the noise urging us, as women, to be our ‘BEST SELVES’ ?! 

Let me explain my (ranty!) self for a moment…. 

 

So I’ve noticed that the expression ‘BE YOUR BEST SELF’ has really started to jar with me.
I know that I’ve probably used it myself in the past (with the best of intentions) but more recently it’s stopped feeling aspirational or motivating to me

Why? Because for me, it feels cloaked in pressure and ‘not-enough-ness’ which as mums and women in this world we don’t need ANY more of, thanks very much.
Of course there is always room for us to grow and flourish into more evolved versions of ourselves – I myself am a huge advocate for personal development and investing in myself.

But aspiring to become my BEST self holds two de-motivating connotations for me:

 

1. It implies that the person I am right now in the present moment is not good enough and that I’m ‘less than’ I need to be somehow. Which subsequently makes me focus so much more on all that I’m NOT rather than celebrate all that I AM
2. It feels limiting and restrictive, as if one day I’ll reach some kind of finishing line where I’ll become my ‘best’ and subsequently cease to develop any further. Which feels utterly depressing, if you ask me!

 

So, working with me, I can tell you right now that I WON’T coach you to become ‘your best self’ (sorry DEF NOT sorry!)

Because without having even met you, I KNOW that you are MORE than enough already (whether you realise it yourself or not!)
What I WILL do however, is support you to connect with and show up as your most TRUE and AUTHENTIC self. Which in my book is an EVEN MORE empowering and inspiring state than being your ”Best”.

Because it gives you permission to release yourself from the need to be ‘perfect’

And instead gifts you the freedom to show up in all your gloriously imperfect, rich, honest multifaceted + ever-evolving humanness.

It’s about embracing ALL your gifts alongside your more challenging traits.

And finding a duality where all of our ‘parts’ are welcome and contribute to making us who we are, unapologetically.

Your ‘you-ness’ is what makes you special. And if given the chance, I’ll make it my business to shine a light on all the jewels hiding inside YOU so you can see them and feel them for yourself.

And arm you with the clarity, confidence and courage to showcase and share them with the world!
Because to thrive in life you don’t need to use up all your precious energy striving to be your ‘best self’ – you just need to BE YOURSELF. Full stop, the end.
If you’re ready to get into a deep and meaningful relationship with yourself EXACTLY AS YOU ARE then I am so very ready to take you on that journey.

This article was written by  Tamsin Williamson, one of Careering into Motherhood’s Partner Coaches. Tamsin is a transformational life and mindset coach empowering ambitious but unfulfilled mums to reconnect with their passion, purpose and potential, so they can rule life while raising kids unapologetically on their terms. You can get in touch via her profile page or book a free discovery call.

December 1, 2023