You become a step parent for and because of your relationship and as a step parent, your relationship evolves alongside many other parts of your life…ok, I’ll be honest, virtually all parts of your life!  For you and your partner, forming a partnership, not just being in a relationship, is essential.  The shift from relationship to partnership empowers you both to voice your needs, opinions, dreams and goals and ultimately shape a family and life that works for you all.

A relationship often revolves around emotional connection, love, and companionship. While these elements are undoubtedly important, a partnership goes beyond, encompassing shared goals, mutual support, and collaborative decision-making.  Effective partnering forms the foundation of your family and will lead to a unified parenting approach, more effective communication, evenly shared responsibilities and overall greater support and understanding.

Sounds great, but how do I do this? 
One of my favourite phrases in the context of step parenting is to be intentional. Transforming your relationship into a partnership requires just this – intention, openness and commitment from both partners. Here are some practical steps you can take to facilitate this transformation:

  1. Establish shared goals and aligned vision: Take the time to discuss you goals for your relationship and family and align your vision for the future.  If you are new to step parenting, make sure you also align your vision for your role as step parent with your partner so you are both on the same page.
  2. Create strategies for regular communication: When and how will it be best for you and your partner to connect and discuss your family plans (short term & long) what’s working and what isn’t?
  3. Collaborate on decision-making: Discuss, align and make decisions collaboratively, especially on family-related matters. Depending on the ages of your children, involve them too (where appropriate).
  4. Have some fun! Take the time to reconnect often.   Whether it’s a weekly date night, a shared hobby, or simply enjoying each other’s company, nurturing your relationship and having some good ol’ fun is so important.

If you are careering-into-”step”motherhood, please reach out and say hello!  I would love to meet you and hear more about your experience.  I believe that every parent, regardless of how you become one, deserves the right to thrive in their role and feel empowered to bring their vision for their family to life.

 

This article was written by Ainsley Keller, an executive coach specialising supporting step parents to be more confident, in control and empowered in their role.  1 in 3 families in the UK are “blended”.  Step parents are a huge yet under represented group and Ainsley aims to  elevate, support and celebrate the role of step parents in the UK and beyond.  She can be contacted via her profile page  or on Instagram at the.stepcollective.

March 1, 2024