What kind of working parent do you want to be?

How does being a working parent influence your identity?  And does this identity feel different to before you had kids?

We don’t take enough time to reflect on the personal changes we go through during parenthood.  We’re thrown into this new phase and are consumed by everything that brings.  But our belief system, values and priorities are all affected by having children and when you throw career into the mix the change can be even more significant.

So how does all this link with setting goals for life and work?  It links because you need a clear sense of self, an understanding of who you are and what you stand for in order to set goals that align with your identity and that are going to take you in the right direction.  Not goals that are purely outcome focussed and which then fall by the wayside.

1. Love who you are

Embrace the person you are, stand by your values, believe in the decisions you make.  This strength in your self-identity is the foundation to building self-confidence, resilience and motivation.  So visualise the person you want to be.  Strong, driven, energised, happy.  The results will inevitably follow.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  – Dr. Seuss

2. Create identity-based habits

James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, talks about creating identity-based habits that aren’t centered solely around outcomes.

So if you have a goal to change career this year then the outcome might be to start a new job in a new industry by October 2024.  The identity you might want to take on is to become someone courageous who is prepared to take a leap of faith.  And you could start that journey by being courageous in another part of your life that has less risk for example.

This year take time to reconnect with yourself, revisit your values and beliefs and start to focus on identity-based habits not just outcome-based goals.

Ayesha Murray is an experienced EMCC accredited coach currently adding another string to her bow by undertaking Emotions Coaching Practitioner training. She has a successful podcast, The Parent Equation and has chaired a panel discussion at the House of Commons on Parental Support reform.  Find out more about Ayesha – https://www.careeringintomotherhood.com/coach/ayesha-murray/  



Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash