Do you often feel overwhelmed as a Mum? Exhausted and emotionally drained, not sure how to juggle work and family life? You are not alone.

Your kids mean the world to you. And you used to have all these amazing ideas on how to be a great Mum. A loving Mum who would always be present and patient with her kids, a Mum who would never scream at her children, punish or blackmail them….

But here we are: You realise that being a mother is one of the biggest challenges in your life, it is quite a rollercoaster, especially when you are throwing work and a great number of expectations in the mix.

So how can we stop feeling overwhelmed?

In this blog post I’m going to explain more about overwhelm and give you some practical tips on how to manage it better.

The problem with overwhelm

 

Overwhelm is basically a manifestation of stress. It’s an emotional state where you’re struggling to cope with or deal with your current situation. On a day-to-day basis, it can look like: not being able to make good decisions, a foggy mind, getting bogged down in all the details, becoming anxious, being controlling…it shows up differently for everyone.

Sometimes we want to do everything for everyone else but in the end all we manage to do is stuff which isn’t even important.

There’s a potential risk for burnout if overwhelm is ignored and it can have a huge impact on your mental health.

The data doesn’t lie: mums are overwhelmed!

 

In a recent study of more than 2,000 mothers, 33 percent said they feel stressed or overwhelmed by their responsibilities as a mum at least five days a week. Over two-thirds of the mums surveyed admitted to holding back their feelings from their partner or family when they are stressed, and 61 percent noted that they feel they’ve no one to turn to or confide in for help.

No wonder, because by always prioritising our kids and our work we always end up at the end of our list or nowhere at all.

How does overwhelm show up for Mums?

 

I’ve been working with mums for a while now (and I am also one myself) so I’ve seen how overwhelm likes to show its face fairly often.

My clients sometimes find they’re more impatient at home, but stressed at work. This might be us screaming at our kids and immediately regretting it afterwards. It then looks like us feeling super guilty, guzzling chocolate or pouring more than one glass of Chardonnay…only to wake up the next morning and see everything repeat itself, although we promised ourselves to change.

You feel like you are part of the movie Groundhog Day, your life runs in daily repetition. And for some mums, when they’re doing stuff day-in, day-out that they do not feel like doing or generally don’t enjoy, it ends up with them feeling frustrated, often leading to resentment.

So what can we do to stop these repeating patterns?

It’s time to do things differently

 

To make any change we need to start doing things differently. It’s as simple as that. Because the same old actions give the same old results.

Imagine feeling alive at work and not worrying about the kids, but also being able to switch work off when you get home to focus on playing with the kids and not feeling guilty about that unopened email or looming To Do list. Imagine living your everyday life in a way that feels lighter and easier – without overwhelm – one in which you create your own personalised definition of success!

It is possible. You can learn how to manage your overwhelm and become the parent you always wanted to be.

Here are my top 5 tips for when you’re feeling overwhelmed:

 

1. Slow Down

 

Stop spinning in your hamster wheel. Take a deep breath.

Give your mind permission to rest. Allow yourself distraction free time to collect your thoughts so that you can connect with yourself. It’s important that you create headspace to reflect and decompress.

When you do this, you’ll be more able to  understand what’s important to you and what’s not

2. Create Awareness

 

Check-in with yourself, get really honest and look at what’s really going on. Acknowledge your feelings, and begin to understand your triggers and your needs. Are they being met?  This might be difficult at first, especially when you are used to running on autopilot, totally disconnected from yourself. But the good news is it’s a skill you can develop and – like all skills – over time you will get better at it.

3. Manage Your Energy

 

Would you drive a car with an empty tank and still expect it to be able to speed down the highway? Let’s get honest with ourselves, we are not even machines, we are human.

Give yourself permission to recharge your inner battery and understand that it’s not only important for you but also for your family and your job. Only if you feel energized and healthy can you show up as the best version of yourself, perform well at work, connect with co-workers, be present and patient with your children and have a happy couple life with your partner.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

 

We often think we know what others expect from us, especially if we haven’t clarified what it is. And sometimes you might find out that it’s actually more about your own expectation towards yourself as Mum, spouse, employee, entrepreneur, friend, daughter than other people’s expectations.

As humans, we tell ourselves stories about what other people expect. Become critical when you do this: is that really true? Where’s the evidence?

Ask yourself: Where does my belief come from? And what’s the worst that can happen if you don’t meet this expectation? Maybe there’s another way of looking at it? What would you like to do? What is important to you? What brings you joy? How does saying no benefit your family or your work?

5. Manage your Autopilot

 

We are all programmed throughout our life by different experiences and we develop patterns of how we react in certain situations. The more stressed or tired we are, the more likely we go into autopilot.⁠

That’s why it’s so difficult to change our reaction in certain situations. It’s our autopilot that keeps us stuck.⁠

How would you like to react instead? Imagine you were at a crossroads and you could clearly see and choose all the directions you could take and you could decide which way to go, how to react… wouldn’t that be liberating and empowering?

What do you need to do next?

 

I hope these tips help you feel less overwhelmed and more in control of your life. Slowing down and being aware of your triggers, allowing time for self care, as well as setting clearer boundaries and managing your autopilot – all enables you to show up as the person you want to be.

You’re not alone on this amazing journey.

I want you to know that, although this stuff is hard to begin with, once you figure it out life gets so much better.

FREE VIDEO! Get my proven 5-step method to manage overwhelm and other inspiring tools. Sign up now! www.philinechucri.com/manage-overwhelm

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​About the Author:

Philine is a Wellbeing and Mindset Coach who supports busy and ambitious Mums in balancing work and family life so they can create a life that feels good.

Find out more about Philine: www.philinechucri.com

April 13, 2023