Confidence has a different meaning for each of us, some want to feel more confident when giving an important presentation or having an interview for a new job. Others wish they could be more confident when setting boundaries with the kids or when they’re making important decisions.
But one thing’s for certain, having confidence in whatever situation you’re in makes life easier and brings you more joy. When your confidence is low, everything can feel like an uphill battle and it can affect the way we interact with the world.
The good news is that boosting confidence is possible! It can take a little time and effort, but there are some steps you can take to start feeling more confident.
Everyone wants more of it, so how can YOU gain more?
In this post I’m going to share five tips with you to start boosting your confidence right now!
How does low confidence impact mums?
Studies have shown that becoming a parent can massively knock mums’ confidence. But what about when you go back to work? In a recent survey of 1000 mums, less than a fifth felt happy and confident about returning to work. And according to 2020 data, 9.8 million working mothers reported experiencing burnout.
So mums are losing confidence and it’s leading to stress and burnout. Simply: we’ve got to try and do things differently.
So how can you boost your confidence?
Let me guide you through my proven 5-step method. Feel free to journal the answers to my questions in whatever way works best for you. It may be with pen and paper, drawing in a sketchbook or audio recordings. Let’s go!
1. Identify a specific Situation.
Our self-confidence usually varies depending on the situation. That might be making an important phone call or giving a speech, or it could be expectations around baking your child’s dream birthday cake. You may feel like you are totally rocking it or you might feel super small.
Choose one situation to start with! Be very specific about the situation. When do you usually feel low confidence? Describe the situation in detail.
2. Create Awareness
Next, you want to take time to connect to yourself. Get really honest with yourself and ask: “How do I feel and where is this feeling of insecurity coming from?”
Perhaps you’re nervous about the upcoming annual customer negotiations because you just joined the company and you have never done this before? Or do you feel low in confidence because you’re afraid to fail or need time to think? Or do you feel insecure when trying to set boundaries to your kids because you don’t like to see them sad? What belief is behind this?
3. Manage your Mean Girl
Many of us have that voice in our heads – let`s call her our inner mean girl. She criticises everything we do and makes us feel not good enough. So let’s put her in her place and manage her effect on us by answering these questions:
- What would you say to your mean girl?
- How can you turn down the volume of her mean comments?
- How can you show yourself some compassion?
4. Create a Goal
Setting a goal is a way of refocusing your energy and can help you gain more confidence.
- How would you like to feel instead?
- How would you like to show up in this specific situation?
- What would you like to do or not do, think or not think, feel or not feel?
5. Make a Plan
Now you’ve got a goal, what action do you need to take to achieve it? Is it as simple as simulating the upcoming customer negotiation with a colleague and practising different scenarios? Or can you remind yourself that your feelings are based on a belief which isn’t valid anymore? Maybe you could replace this belief with a new one? Instead of “A good Mum always makes her kids happy” you could maybe remind yourself that “Children need boundaries for their development. It gives them a sense of safety.”
Of course, these are just examples. You are unique and you need to do YOU! Only if we stop looking outside and start looking inside can we start creating the inner change we desire.
A final few words about Confidence
Remember, confidence is a journey, not a destination. It may take time to see the results, but with persistence and effort, you can become a more confident person. In my coaching practice we talk about starting small. Practising self-confidence is like a muscle you can train, and over time you will get better and better at it.
Start flexing your confidence today!
Do you want to know more about how you can confidently grow into the person and parent you want to be? Hi, I am Philine, Wellbeing & Mindset Coach for Mums. Check out the different ways we can work together at www.philinechucri.com
March 2, 2023