You don’t need to be anyone else but yourself…

I know sometimes that might feel really hard to believe and remember.

How on earth are we supposed to stay in our own lane when we’re constantly bombarded by what other people are doing, how they’re living and what they’re achieving?

As humans, our urge to compare ourselves to others is fierce, and it can play out, sometimes subconsciously, as our way of assessing how we believe we’re doing in life.

But as our gaze drifts, we can often end up feeling pretty damn inadequate and deflated with our lot, filled with a sense that we’re getting life all sorts of wrong.

That we aren’t good enough.

That we need a better job, more skills, a nicer house, better behaved kids, a happier marriage, more personality…

That we need to be more like someone else and less like OURSELVES.

I talk about this from first-hand experience – as a mother, as a business owner and as a woman.

Comparison has been a huge thorn in my side in the past and I’d be lying if I said that I don’t feel the sting every now and again in the present too. I’m only human after all

But what I have come to realise is that the moment I attempt to embody anyone else other than myself, I start to feel horribly uncomfortable, inauthentic and unfamiliar in my skin.

It doesn’t feel aspirational or empowering as I might hope.

But instead, it jars. I feel like a fraud. Like I’m cheating on myself or playing a role rather than living in the real world.

So, I now choose to use those pangs of comparison as my red flag, telling me it’s time to:

Put some boundaries in place to distance and protect myself from those ‘not enough’ vibes.

Focus some serious attention on MYSELF – to what I want, what I’m about, why I’m great and what I deserve.

Sometimes we can get so distracted by what’s happening around us, that we can lose sight of all the amazing, special stuff happening within ourselves and in our own lives.

But the truth is, we all have EXACTLY what we need to thrive and succeed inside us already.

And there will always be positives to draw from our own lives, experiences, and circumstances – if only we take the time to really look for them, embrace them, believe them and appreciate them

That’s when we’ll start to realise that being ourselves is better than being anyone else.

And if you’re struggling to identify your awesomeness for yourself – that’s where coaches like me can come in handy!

If you’d like help learning how to shine your spotlight onto yourself and away from everyone else, then please get in touch.

It’s time for you to escape that comparison trap and start OWNING your truth.

Tamsin Williamson is a partner coach with Careering into Motherhood.

December 7, 2022