There are many definitions of resilience, most notably to be able to bounce back from adversity.


But what if you just seem to have in your life no end of challenges and dramas with work, children, family? How do you keep bouncing back? That is exhausting in itself.

Take Sophie, one of my lovely clients. She has had a very difficult time recently, resulting in her having to move her six-year-old to another school. Not the one she spent months thinking about, visiting and then worrying about whether he got his place. Another one that is great, but not her choice.

And why? Because of a series of incidents with another mum at school.


I bring this to your attention for a couple of reasons. What has happened to Sophie is eating her up inside. She is exhausted, she feels betrayed by the friend she thought she had and she has no motivation or energy to make new friends at the new school. She has lost all trust.


But what is she doing here? She is giving the other mum the power. This person is still controlling her life, even though Sophie’s son has moved on.

Resilience is more than bouncing back. It is learning from what has happened, being able to grow from it.

It is being able to forgive, let go, rise up and put your crown back on.


I am sure this story of the school mum will resonate with most of you. It certainly did with me. Playground drama is par for the course for most mums, but there are strategies for you to learn how to create boundaries and relationships on your terms.

Here are five elements that will help make you resilient:


  1. Manage your energy –  where your focus goes, your energy flows
  2. Build strong relationships with clear boundaries
  3. Have a strong sense of your own values and beliefs
  4. Let go of expectation of others
  5. Be open minded and flexible in your thinking


I love to work with my clients to help them put their crowns back on. If you would like some support with 1:1 coaching, just drop me a message.


Suzy Malhotra