In last month’s blog I shared 5 ways to manage your energy at work as an introvert. But I feel like it’s only half a story. You don’t stop being an introvert when you get home.
The pressures of modern life can be overwhelming. Switching off and relaxing when you get home from work can feel like a luxury and, as a working parent, keeping up with after school activities, homework, school fayres, WhatsApp groups and of course the comparison it is that comes from social media, it’s easy to neglect your own needs to recharge your own batteries.
It’s taken years for me to realise that some of the overwhelm I experienced (which I just put down to the busyness that comes with being a parent) could have been eased if I’d used these strategies to manage my energy.
Disclaimer: there is no getting away from the fact that parenting can be all consuming and leave little time for yourself but finding ways to recharge your batteries will serve you twice over and enable you to be more present when it matters.
Here are 5 ways I’ve found that help me to manage my energy at home:
1. Create a sacred space
It’s not always easy to relax and find calm when you have a busy household. There will always be washing to put away, dishes to do, somebody wanting your attention. You want your home to feel like a sanctuary, but instead, you just want to escape. If this sounds familiar it can be helpful to protect a designated space just for you, somewhere that you can retreat to for a moment’s peace and solitude, free from clutter or demands on you. Whether it’s your bedroom, living room or bathroom, protect it and make it your safe haven.
2. Get outside to recharge
The benefits of spending time outdoors in nature are well known for both your physical and mental health. Take yourself out into the fresh air – walk, run, cycle – whatever works for you. Where possible go somewhere you can be free from distractions and don’t be mis-led into using it as an opportunity to tick ‘just one more thing’ off your to-do list, like making a quick phone call or catching up on messages. It’s time for you!
3. Plan quiet time in your day
For some people this might mean waking up before the rest of the house to get some alone time and prepare yourself for the day ahead. If you’re not a morning person you might find more peace when everyone else is tucked up in bed at night. Take opportunities to run errands alone where you can – a Sunday morning tip run has never been so appealing!
4. Let go of the guilt
Taking time for yourself to recharge is not about being lazy. You can’t pour from an empty cup so let go of the guilt that comes from wanting time alone, turning down an invitation to socialise or allowing the kids more screen time.
Practice mindfulness
Bear with me here! I realise this might not be for everyone because I once felt like that too but I read a book a few years ago that made me see it differently. If you feel like you’re living your life on auto-pilot, finding ways to be present in the moment can really help to quiet your mind and be more focused.
‘Peace is not something I need to wait for after I’ve finished my to-do list’
This was a quote from the book which I feel I could have written myself. If you’re interested, the book is called ‘Be Present in this Moment – a Practical Guide to Mindfulness’ by Tessa Watt and I highly recommend it, especially if this is a topic that has previously felt like it’s not for you.
These are just 5 ways I’ve found that help me to manage my energy at home. If you have others, I’d love to hear them – send me a message and let me know: hello@heatherhillcoaching.com
If you missed my previous blog, Managing Your Energy at Work as an Introvert, you can find it here: https://www.heatherhillcoaching.com/blog/managing-your-energy-at-work-as-an-introvert
The process of seeking a new job is not a straightforward one and it can take time. According to Cidnye Work at FlexJobs, it takes an average of 3 – 6 months to secure a new job, which can end up being even longer if you have specific requirements that you want satisfied from that post, such as flexibility or hybrid working – which let’s face it most of us do if we are balancing a family around our role.
It can prove increasingly difficult to remain positive throughout this process, however I want to remind you of 5 simple ways you can stay on top of the negative self-talk and feel in control of the process.
1. Set a routine
Decide how much time you are going to commit to your job search each day or week. Put it in your diary and stick to it. This will give you a sense of control and help you create some barriers around the time you spend on it and the way you are using that time.
2. Get clarity on what you are looking for
The biggest mistake I see over and over again from clients is not knowing what they are actually looking for – or looking for the same thing they have always done when in fact they want a change. Take a step back and reflect on what you REALLY want.
Make a list of your non-negotiables (the things that HAVE to be there in the role) and then make a list of the negotiables (the nice-to-haves that you are willing to be flexible about). Come back to this list for every job you look at before you apply.
If you want to make a change to what you do or how you work, put the kettle on and take a look at my FREE download THE 15-MINUTE CAREER CHANGE CHALLENGE where I pose a set of questions to work through to assess all the elements of what you want next.
3. Create conversations
OK, I am going to tentatively use the word ‘network’ here. However you feel about it, your connections and contacts are arguably the most valuable thing you have, and it can be your secret weapon.
I’m not asking you to sign up to a networking event (unless you want to, then go for it!!), but what I am asking you to do is look around you at your friends, family, work colleagues and ex-work colleagues and identify 5 people you can have a chat with about your current and future plans.
Setting up these conversations gives you a forward motion, a variety in your activity and talking to others often sparks thoughts and ideas you wouldn’t have come up with alone.
4. Audit your alerts
If you are feeling exhausted by the inbound alerts coming from job search platforms, go back into your profile and review the information. Perhaps things have changed in what you are looking for, or you want to adapt the frequency of the alerts. Or maybe turn them off for a while to create space for other activities.
5. Get another set of eyes on your CV and LinkedIn profile
It’s really easy to lose the plot when we are just looking at our own CV and LinkedIn profile all day every day. There is huge benefit in getting someone’s objective opinion on it. This is where I come in!
If you want me to work 1 to 1 with you on getting your CV and LinkedIn ready for your next move, I offer 2 x 60-minute 1 to 1 sessions and lifetime access to my online course platform with easy-to-follow video tutorials and invaluable templates. It’s usually £125 (which is incredible value any day of the week), however as a Careering into Motherhood member it is available at JUST £99!!!
You can sign up for the course here or get in touch via my profile page on the Careering into Motherhood platform. Please use CIM2024 at the checkout.
In the whirlwind of motherhood, have you ever paused to wonder, “Who even am I now that I’m a mama?” Whether you’re navigating those intense early stages or finally coming up for air, this question often lingers, quietly demanding attention.
I’ve been there myself – feeling like I would never find the way back to me again. But that time did come. The journey to rediscovering yourself can take time, intention, and lots of self-compassion, so it’s okay if you’re not there yet.
Recognising the Loss
But before we delve into reclaiming our identity, let’s first acknowledge matrescence – the profound transformation that happens when we become mothers. Much like adolescence, matrescence encompasses many physical, emotional, and psychological changes, that can leave us feeling lost in the shuffle of motherhood’s demands.
It’s okay to admit it – motherhood changes us in ways we never could have imagined.
The roles and responsibilities often overshadow other aspects of our identity, leaving us feeling adrift. But acknowledging that loss is the first step. The truth is that you will never go back to the same person you were before you became a mama, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to wave goodbye to her completely.
Reconnecting with You
So, how do we find ourselves amidst the chaos of motherhood? It starts with small, intentional steps.
Take care of yourself. It sounds like a no-brainer, but before we can even begin to regain a sense of identity, we need to make sure our basic needs are being met – eating well, staying hydrated, making that doctor’s appointment (and sticking to it!).
Reflect on what makes you feel like You. Who were you before you became a mama and what aspects of your identity are important? Consider the things, places or people that bring you joy. What gives you energy, makes you feel fulfilled and aligns with your values?
Carve out pockets to nurture your identity. Even small versions of the things that make you feel like yourself can make a big difference. Whether it’s sneaking in a yoga session during naptime, putting on a slick of bold-coloured lipstick in the morning, listening to a few minutes of an audiobook, or dancing round the kitchen to your favourite song.
Embrace who you are becoming. Rather than viewing identity loss as a negative experience, let’s reframe it as a natural part of matrescence. Instead of losing who we were, let’s think of it as growing into who we’re meant to be.
And remember, matrescence is a transition. It takes time so don’t expect to nail it straight away. Be patient, show yourself compassion as you evolve and get to know this next version of yourself.
This article is by Katrina Court, one of our partner coaches.
Katrina is an ICF-certified coach, Mama Rising™ Matrescence Facilitator and mother of one. She works with mums who feel invisible, frustrated, and depleted by the early years of motherhood supporting them to understand their matrescence, connect to their new identity, redefine success, and feel equipped with the tools and mindset to live a reimagined version of their motherhood.
You can find out more and book a free exploratory session through her profile page.
Emotional wellbeing is the state of being in which we can understand, manage, and express our emotions in a healthy and balanced way. It includes becoming more self aware, being able to self-regulate and finding ways to build our resilience.
At its core, emotional wellbeing involves recognising and acknowledging our emotions without judgement. It’s about understanding the underlying causes of these emotions and then developing effective coping mechanisms to deal with them constructively. As a qualified Emotions Coaching Practitioner this is work I do on a daily basis with myself and with clients.
Then it’s about developing the ability to regulate our emotions effectively. We’re hard wired to react negatively to challenging situations, so how can we better manage stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions so that we move forward positively?
Hedonic and eudaimonic wellbeing
There’s another aspect to Emotional Wellbeing that I love and that’s the difference between hedonic and eudaimonic. Words I’ve only recently come across!
While hedonic wellbeing revolves around pleasure and the absence of pain, eudaimonic wellbeing delves deeper into a sense of purpose, meaning, and fulfilment in life. Both are integral to achieving overall happiness and satisfaction.
Read on and decide, which one resonates with you?
Hedonic wellbeing is centred around the transient joys of life like enjoying a delicious meal, spending time with loved ones, or indulging in a favourite hobby. These experiences contribute to momentary happiness but they may not necessarily lead to long-term fulfilment.
On the other hand, eudaimonic wellbeing is rooted in the pursuit of personal growth, self-realisation, and fulfilment of your potential. It involves living in a way that’s aligned to your values, cultivating meaningful relationships, and finding purpose in life beyond those hedonic moments.
So achieving emotional wellbeing requires a delicate balance between the two. We all need a bit of immediate gratification, but meaning and purpose are the key to sustainin long-term satisfaction and resilience.
Ayesha Murray is an experienced EMCC accredited coach and a qualified Emotions Coaching Practitioner. She has a successful podcast, The Parent Equation and has chaired a panel discussion at the House of Commons on Parental Support reform. Find out more about Ayesha – https://www.careeringintomotherhood.com/coach/ayesha-murray/
The concept of split energy and what to do about it is coming up in my coaching with working mums so I thought it would be helpful to share.
What is split energy?
At its most simple it’s when our energy is pulling us in different directions and stopping us from getting what we want.
An old coach of mine described it as like a pen with a lid. If we hold the pen in one hand and the lid in the other hand the pen lid represents the smaller positive energy directed towards what we want and the rest of the pen is the larger negative/ other energy that pulls us away from what we want. So our energy is torn and we need to find ways to integrate the two parts to help us align our energy and move towards what we want.
For example, as a working mum we are pulled in so many different directions and often it’s hard to get what we want or feel like we have the life we want. We may know what we want but then worry about the impact of our decisions on others (guilt), what others are thinking of us (judgment) and how hard it is to manage everything (overwhelm). These feelings (guilt/ judgment/ overwhelm) pull our energy away from the thing we want. We become out of alignment and feel torn.
What can we do about it?
The causes of split energy are complex and multi-faceted. However, one approach to overcoming split energy is to know and believe you can get what you want without doubt, and then orientate your energy, time, focus, what you do, which battles you fight, who you spend time with, the support you ask for etc towards that.
Start by getting clear
It starts with getting clear on what you want. One mantra I like is: “Find what feels good”.
As Oprah said recently in an interview with Trevor Noah on The Daily Show:
“People get to where they want to go because they know where they want to go… A lot of people are going and being driven by what they think they should do, what other people say they should do, what they have carried in their mind for a long time that they say they should do. But the most important question you can ever ask yourself is what do I really want… Once you establish for yourself what the answer to that is and have everything you do, every choice you make move you in the direction of what you say your vision is. When you do that the forces of life rise up to meet you.”
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences of this!
This article was written by Georgina Gray one of our partner coaches who supports women who walk with working mums, literally (on coaching walks in nature) and metaphorically, offering creativity, compassion and challenge to help you lead a more authentic, intentional and values-aligned business/ life. You can get in touch via her profile page.
I’ve consistently lived and breathed the story that I’m totally inept and incapable at anything technology related.
I’m not quite sure where or how or why I exactly crafted that story about myself.
– Maybe I had a few difficult past experiences at work, where I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth and I made it mean something about myself?
– Maybe someone else deemed me to be incapable (to make themselves feel MORE capable?) and so I chose to believe them?
– Maybe I unconsciously subscribed to the ingrained patriarchal societal bullish*t narrative that women are notoriously ‘less good’ at dealing with tech?
What I DO know however, is that this story I have attached to myself for way too long has most definitely held me back. It has stopped me trying certain things, it has made me waste hours procrastinating, it has diluted my self-belief to achieve new stuff and it has made me over-reliant on others rather than looking to myself.
And ultimately, it has bedded itself in as a really annoying and unconsciously destructive part of my identity.
Until NOW…
Because the thing is, I really wanted to start my own podcast. It had been on my mind and in my heart for ages – but I’d told myself that because I’m crap with tech I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own, I would get stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated and it would ruin the whole experience for me.
I blocked myself – and in turn I blocked access to a big, beautiful personal aspiration. Which SUCKED – to be polite!!!
Thankfully, I was also able to realise that by attaching myself to this belief, I was also doing myself and my business (and subliminally my kids!) a MASSIVE disservice. And the only way for me to truly do myself justice in the ways I innately knew I deserved, was to call bullish*t on the story and override it.
Now, don’t be fooled here – I’m VERY aware that calling out our fears and inner narratives is far from an easy task!!! And it has been UNCOMFORTABLE stepping into a new identity and trying on a new behaviour for size.
But, step by step, I faced the unknown and found my own ways to learn, to understand, to troubleshoot, to get comfortable with the not knowing.
I had to reallllly remind myself that I was capable, tenacious, resourceful, good enough (as you are too, btw). And I only bloody went and got my podcast out into the world, didn’t I!
Off my own back! Using my own initiative and my own tech skills!!
And OMG, it’s everything I hoped it would be…and more! (You can have a listen here if you’re feeling nosy – https://theparenthoodcoach.co.uk/podcast )
And while I can’t believe I nearly didn’t make it happen – I’m so very grateful to myself that I did.
Since overcoming the podcast hurdle, I’ve been faced with other ‘tech’ challenges’ – and off the back of my podcasting triumph, it has been amazing to witness how much more confidence I now have to detach from my natural ‘panic mode’, to figure things out and navigate my way through.
It has been a great reminder that we all have rubbish stories that hold us back and keep us small – BUT that we also ALL have the power to re-write those stories and take ownership of our lives in the ways we desire.
WE ALL DO! (yup, that includes you too, my friend!)
- Maybe you’re stuck in a story right now about why you can’t leave your job / start a business / get a promotion / apply for that role / retrain in something new….?
- But maybe, just maybe, that story is just a story – which you have the power to re-write in all the ways your heart desires.
I’m living proof it is possible (and I have a heap of brilliant women walking around this earth who I’ve helped to do the same as well!)
Wanna know how? Then let me help you.
Because it’ll be so much easier to challenge your inner ‘sh*tty committee’ with a cheerleader (like me!) in your corner – and your aspirations are way too important to stay stuck in the shadows.
This article was written by Tamsin Williamson, one of Careering into Motherhood’s Partner Coaches. Tamsin is a transformational life and mindset coach empowering ambitious but unfulfilled mums to reconnect with their passion, purpose and potential, so they can rule life while raising kids unapologetically on their terms. You can get in touch via her profile page or book a free discovery call.
Is Overthinking getting the better of you?
Overthinking is very common and involves continuously thinking the same thoughts, usually revolving around the same issue. It can feel like you are in a never ending loop unable to make clear decisions.
Why do It?
Overthinking can occur for many reasons, relating to a choice or challenge. You may feel a lack of confidence, fear of failure or missing out, internal conflict, high expectation from an external source or a lack of control in the decision making process. However the biggest driver for overthinking is uncertainty. The inevitable ‘not knowing’ what the future holds and the brain goes into overdrive to ponder, resolve and fix.
How do you break this cycle?
Here are 7 ways to recognise and take control of your thinking habits
1. Productive or Counterproductive
Distinguish between ’effective thinking’, are you able to focus, consider relevant information and be constructive at problem-solving? Or do you overthink, over analyse, think of the worst and focus on the negative?
2. Analysis Paralysis
Recognise when you have overthought a decision to the point you no longer see the wood from the trees. This leads to inaction due to an abundance of information that your mind needs to process..
3. To Be or Not to Be
Being comfortable with not knowing at times can ensure the problem doesn’t control you. When you feel threatened, anxiety picks up pace. Accepting you don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle yet is ok.
4. Fact or Fiction
Can you distinguish between fact, possible fact and an assumption. The mind has a tendency to exaggerate or twist the truth when you overthink and feel threatened.
5. Approach or Avoid
You can either engage in unwanted feelings or ignore them. When you engage you are more likely to identify the real challenge. Ask yourself;
- What am I avoiding? What is motivating me to overthink this? What emotion is this challenge triggering in me?
6. Be Present
The ideal state is to be grounded and feel confident, this is where you can do your best thinking. Ask yourself:
- What is important to me about this?
- What is in my control right now?
- What are my strengths that will support me through this challenge?
7. Press the Pause Button
Slow down, be mindful or meditate. A daily mindful walk, run, swim with no distractions for however long you have, is worth its weight in gold (in my opinion). When you feel like reacting, put space between you, the situation and your reaction.
‘The greatest barrier is the inability to give up what you have done before’ John Whitmore.
To change a thinking habit you must first become more self aware and be willing to take responsibility. To think clearly is a wonderful skill that enables you to navigate ambiguity more effectively. When you next feel overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions and decisions. I invite you to reflect on the 7 ways above to help change your thinking habit. Please share with me your thoughts and insights.
This article was written by Chloe Coburn one of our partner coaches who supports women and helps them to connect with themselves and their values, to make the next change/transition intentional and purposeful. You can get in touch via her profile page and book a free discovery call to learn more about coaching with Chloe.
Embarking on a new role can evoke a whirlwind of emotions – excitement, anticipation, but also fears and uncertainties. Whether you’re transitioning to a new job within your current organisation or stepping into uncharted territory elsewhere, navigating this journey successfully requires a blend of resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to seek support when needed.
Addressing Fears and Emotions:
It’s natural to feel a range of emotions when starting something new. Fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or anxiety about meeting expectations can cloud your judgment. Recognise these feelings as normal and use them as fuel for growth rather than allowing them to paralyse you. Embrace the discomfort of the unknown as an opportunity for personal and professional development.
Anticipating Challenges:
Every new role comes with its own set of challenges. Whether it’s mastering new skills, navigating office politics, or adjusting to a different company culture, expect obstacles along the way. Approach these challenges with a growth mindset, viewing them as opportunities to learn and improve rather than insurmountable barriers.
Seeking Help When Needed:
There’s no shame in asking for help when you encounter difficulties. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Don’t hesitate to reach out to colleagues, mentors, or supervisors for guidance and support. Strike a balance between independence and collaboration, knowing when to tackle problems solo and when to enlist the expertise of others.
Identifying Growth Areas:
Self-reflection is key to identifying areas for growth. Assess your strengths and weaknesses objectively, then create a plan to enhance your skills and knowledge. Set realistic goals and actively seek opportunities for development, whether through formal training programs, mentorship, or hands-on experience.
Building a Support Network:
Surround yourself with a supportive network of colleagues, mentors, friends, and family who can offer encouragement and advice. Cultivate relationships both inside and outside the workplace, leveraging diverse perspectives and experiences to enrich your own journey. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this path alone.
Capability and Confidence:
Finally, believe in yourself and your ability to succeed in your new role. While it’s natural to experience moments of doubt, trust in the skills and expertise that led you to this opportunity. Embrace challenges as chances to prove your capabilities and demonstrate your value to the organisation.
In conclusion, succeeding in your new role requires a combination of self-awareness, resilience, and a willingness to seek support when needed. Embrace the full spectrum of emotions that accompany this journey, anticipate and address challenges head-on, and leverage your support network to navigate the path to success. With dedication, perseverance, and a growth mindset, you can not only excel in your new role but also continue to evolve and thrive in your career.
If you would like more help to really thrive in your new role then why not sign up for my 5 part workshops that starts on 10th April. You’ll find all the details on this page or here.
I talk all the time about having clarity of your goals and how important it is to take action every day that gets you closer to the goal. But here’s the thing: slowing down is the key to actually reaching your goals faster.
Many of us, myself included, have fallen into the trap of hustle culture. We believe that forcing ourselves, fueled by sheer willpower, is the path to success. But this approach is a recipe for burnout and disappointment. Why? Because when we take action from a place of force, we’re disconnected from our internal guidance. We start tons of projects, thrash around with activity, and end up achieving very little. And then beating ourselves about it. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Speed DOES NOT always equal success. According to a McKinsey Health survey, a quarter of employees across 15 countries experienced burnout symptoms. And can tell you from personal experience it is NOT fun and once you’re there it takes a long time to get out, emotionally, and physiologically.
Shifting Gears: From Frantic to Focused
The real power lies in slowing down and going deeper. When you slow down and reconnect with your intentions, your BIG WHY and the next step, there’s a big energy shift. It’s compelling and it’s a pull instead of a push. And this pull takes you much further and the journey is more fun when you’re enjoying yourself. Here’s the magic that happens when you do this:
⛰️ Connect with Your Compass: By slowing down, you create space to listen to your intuition and your creativity. This inner wisdom guides you towards what truly matters, your values and your purpose. Your creativity guides you with problem-solving. Often, the obstacle IS THE way ☄️
⚡️Action with Intention: Once you’re clear on your direction, you can take intentional action. This is a complete shift from the scattered activity of hustle culture. Intentional action is focused, and powerful, and gets you closer to your goals far quicker.
🧘♀️ Calm in the Chaos: Slowing down allows you to move from a state of frantic uncertainty to a place of calm commitment. This mental clarity fuels your energy and keeps you motivated for the long haul.
Saying No to Say Yes to What Matters
When you’re caught in the speed trap, it’s easy to fall prey to the “yes monster”. You say yes to everything that comes your way, regardless of whether it aligns with your goals or not. This leads to overwhelm and confusion. By slowing down, you gain the power to say no to distractions and focus on what truly matters.
It’s important that you meet yourself where you are now. By accepting the situation, you allow your creativity to enter and problem-solve. By showing yourself compassion and understanding you create a different energy and space to operate from and make important decisions.
Embrace the power of slowing down. It’s the counterintuitive approach that will get you where you want to go faster, with more focus, and a whole lot less stress.
This article was written by Bruna Ali, a passionate fellow mama who helps women find their mojo in life and career after kids. Bruna has 15 years of experience in senior HR corporate roles, an education in Psychology and is a qualified career and life coach. She is passionate about helping people design a life that fills them with purpose and happiness. You can get in touch with Bruna at: www.brunaali.com
To give your best to your family and your career, the number 1 thing every working mother needs to remember is that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity.
As someone once said, you can’t pour from an empty cup … and so why is it that the majority of working mothers put health and wellness at the bottom of their priority list? It breaks my heart to see this constantly, knowing that the impact of making it a priority will be so significant, not only for the working mother but for everyone around her, including her employer.
I know life as a working mum can feel like a whirlwind, especially when you’re juggling work, family and everything in between – but imagine a life in which everything falls into place more easily, you have greater clarity on the decisions you make, you have more energy to tackle all your tasks and, rather than just getting through the day, you’re thriving and ready to handle whatever the world throws at you.
It is possible to turn this dream into reality! Some may need the support of a coach, whilst others may already know the pathway to success.
Take the first step to self-care, today
Start by scoring yourself on your commitment to health and wellbeing as you stand today.
Look at a number between 0 and 10.
Decide what you would like that number ultimately to be.
And now start to work on the options and a plan to get you there.
It could be as simple as building in solutions like drinking more water or batch cooking to eat healthier or, more complex, where you need to build in more time that you don’t currently have. For example, you know the benefits that exercise provides to you but work pressures are pushing you physically and mentally. Even if you did find the time to exercise more, you’re often too tired and the guilt you already feel about not spending enough time with the family is getting you down. The need to reprioritise your life’s needs and wants becomes essential … but you can’t do it on your own.
You’ve got this
Whatever your situation, you’re not alone and coaching is here to help every step of the way.
I offer one-off coaching sessions for those needing support in this space. Please do not hesitate to message me at sue@suepayne.co.uk if you would like an initial introductory call.
This article was written by Sue Payne, one of our partner coaches who is a coach and mentor with 20 years of leadership experience. Sue supports women to realise their full career potential at key life stages- returning to work, peri menopause, becoming an entrepreneur. You can get in touch via her profile page.
Four places to find support beyond your favourite brew.
As working mothers, we often juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, seeking support wherever we can to navigate the challenges of our personal and professional lives. For me, that means reaching for a medium-roast black coffee! However, as a coaching psychologist, I also understand the importance of seeking guidance and assistance to continuously grow and be the best I can be for my clients. But where can we turn for support beyond a hot drink?
Here are four options to consider, each with its pros and cons:
1. A Friend
Turning to a trusted friend for support can provide comfort and understanding. Whether over a cuppa or a phone call, sharing our experiences with someone who knows us well can be cathartic. A special friend can be more accessible and cost-effective than professional support, such as a coach. However, their advice may be subjective, and friends might only sometimes have the expertise to offer valuable insights into professional matters.
2. A Group of Friends
Gathering with friends who share similar experiences can create a sense of camaraderie and belonging. I remember how much I loved meeting up with the women from prenatal Yoga after we all had our babies! Sharing stories and advice in a group setting can provide different perspectives and a feeling of solidarity. It’s lovely to have a support network built within the group, the diverse range of experiences shared, and a sense of community. However, group dynamics can sometimes lead to conflicting advice or a lack of individualised attention to specific issues.
3. Formal Support Group
Joining an established support group, such as a coaching or supervision group or a workplace network, offers structured and professional guidance. These groups often provide a platform for sharing best practices, receiving feedback, and accessing resources. Pros include the specialised expertise offered, the opportunity for professional development, and the sense of accountability. However, participation may require time and resources, and the group’s dynamics may only sometimes align with individual needs.
4. Professional Individual Support
Seeking professional individual support, such as coaching, counselling or supervision for those working as coaches, offers personalised guidance tailored to specific needs. Working one-on-one with a trained professional provides a safe space to explore challenges, set goals, and develop strategies for growth. It is uniquely valuable to receive the focused attention and expertise of a caring professional who also provides accountability. However, this level of support may come at a financial cost, which you could consider an investment in yourself.
Where Will You Go for Support?
As working mothers, our choices of where to seek support are personal and depend on individual preferences, resources, and needs. My support network includes all of the above (and yes, some coffee!), and I am grateful to be able to access formal and informal support when life and work require it.
It is important to admit when support is needed and to seek it. Where will you go for support?
This article was written by our partner coach, Elrika Erasmus, director of Coachmind Consulting. Elrika is an HCPC registered Practitioner Psychologist and ILM Level 7 Executive and Leadership Coach. She applies psychological expertise to coaching frameworks when consulting as a Coaching Psychologist – and helps her clients build their success stories. You can contact her at elrika@coachmind.net or via her profile page.
So many of us wake up every morning dreading work.
We feel there is no way out and that we won’t have it better anywhere else. So what’s the point in even looking!
Is this what life is all about?
Feeling miserable every day and looking for our 2 week holiday where hopefully we can switch off (not sure that is possible with kids).
Ok so I have painted a pretty grim picture here but this is the reality of many of my clients.
We never take a step back and think, ‘Is this what I want my life to look like?
Is this really what I imagined for myself when I was a child?
The answer most definitely is NO. So what can we do here?
Well there is a lot you can do if you are willing to change what you believe.
Stay with me…
What you are believing is based on past evidence.
To do something different, you need to believe something else.
If you keep your old beliefs, you will keep living the same day over and over again and telling yourself it’s not better anywhere else.
But I want to challenge you here. It’s not better where you are now. Think about that.
But it’s risky to move jobs I hear you say. Yes I agree but why not just BELIEVE that it’s possible to have work that you enjoy or that you can have it better somewhere else.
You might think this is pointless but trust me a small shift in your belief systems makes all the difference.
When you start to believe something new, your brain gets creative and comes up with alternatives and solutions. And the most amazing thing is that your brain will start to find evidence for your new belief system. It’s true.
Your brain can’t take in the whole world, so it scans it based on your current beliefs and finds evidence to support it.
Now go and do 2 things:
- What are your current beliefs about your job. Write them down.
- Create a new, empowering belief that is believable to you. It should be realistic and empowering.
It’ll only take you 5 mins. Let that new belief plant itself in your brain and let it find evidence for you.
You are not alone my friend. Many people feel the way you do. But the difference between you and them is that you want to change it.
Sign up to my free resource ‘Work Less’ to help you start to get control of your day-to-day work and feel less overwhelmed so that you can have the headspace to make change: www.negarfarah.com/workless