In a recent poll in the Careering Into Motherhood Facebook Group, 72% of mums said they experience more mum guilt than usual during the long summer holidays.

Indeed, this time of year can send mum guilt into overdrive. Juggling work and childcare can feel like an impossible puzzle, making us feel we are not sufficiently present in either sphere – and that we are failing in both.

If this sounds like you, here are 5 tips that may help: 

  1. Align yourself with the ‘good enough mother’ instead of the ‘perfect mother’ – accept that standards may well slip a little during the holidays, and that’s okay.
  2. Be guided by your values and not external pressures – when the guilt arises, question whose voice it is speaking to you in. Often when we are feeling a lot of ‘shoulds’, it is a sign that the guilt is coming from outside of ourselves. Try imagining that your brain is a parking lot, and each time a ‘should’ comes up that triggers guilt, invite it to park itself in the part of your brain you aren’t planning to access for a while.
  3. Another technique is to challenge your guilt when it arises and establish if it is Helpful Guilt (which exists to prompt a necessary behaviour change, for example putting down your phone and being present with your child) or Unhelpful Guilt (which, much like the ‘shoulds’ mentioned above, is not serving you, and needs to be despatched to the remote car park in your unconscious brain immediately!)
  4. Remind yourself that self-care isn’t selfish – and that role modelling it to your children is as important for their wellbeing as it is your own!
  5. Set realistic goals to avoid overwhelm (which can send your spiralling into the guilt and shame vortex) – each day, try to set achievable work goals and goals for connection opportunities with your child/ren – that way, you know you are not neglecting either of these important parts of your life.

 

If you’re ready to go deeper in your journey to smashing maternal guilt and flourishing in life and work, get in touch with Belinda directly at belinda@theflourishingmother.com to book a free, no obligation call and learn more about her offerings.

 

I discuss the topic of maternal guilt in much greater depth in my forthcoming book, Challenge Your Guilt (to Change Your Life). To follow my journey to publication and be the first to hear exciting news and updates on this project, subscribe to my newsletter at: https://the-flourishing-mother.ck.page/425e2e9f90

 

You may also wish to follow me on Instagram @flourishingmother and join my FREE Facebook community into which I stream free weekly live event with guest experts on topics relating to maternal well-being: https://www.facebook.com/groups/flourishingmothercommunity 

 

July 31, 2024