Sometimes taking a step back and viewing yourself in the third person can have a big positive impact on your confidence.

One of the biggest issues facing women in today’s world is the hard time we have seeing and acknowledging how brilliant we truly are.

I know that I struggle with this, and my clients do too.


Internally we can be highly self-critical, and spend so much energy focusing on the things we aren’t achieving, that we neglect to see ourselves as others do.

But also, we sometimes love to focus on any negative feedback we might have received – even if we know rationally it was unfair or undeserved.

So an exercise I do from time to time is to take a step back, grab a huge sheet of flipchart paper and create a mindmap or bullet point list from a third person perspective.

Write your name in the centre (or the top if you’re doing bullet points), but remember we’re doing this in the third person.


So who is this person?


Start by listing her academic achievements.

Then add the roles she has held.

How much career experience does she have? List out how many years that comes to.

What are her top achievements, the things she has achieved that matter most to her?

What are the best things people say about her? What’s the best professional feedback she has ever received?

What is she looking for next? What would fulfil or excite her the most?

And now take a moment to read through everything you see in front of you.

How does it feel to view yourself in this way?


We often don’t feel on the inside how we are perceived on the outside.


That’s true when you’re most successful – we can often feel negative emotions and that we are failing despite outwardly looking like we have it all sorted.

But it’s also true when you’re working towards the destination you want to get to next. We feel all the insecurity and drink in all the negative things we’ve ever received or feared we might receive.


But that doesn’t mean that’s how the rest of the world sees you.

It’s time to stand up for your experience and your credentials, so you can reframe, refuel and take the next aligned step.


This article was written by Jessica Fearnley, business coach for Women B2B Consultants, host of the Seven Figure Consultant Podcast, and LinkedIn Top Voices 2019 for Entrepreneurship and Small Business.

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