From Wannabe to Achiever: 8 Ways to Discover Your True Desires in Career and Parenthood

Remember in 1996 when the Spice Girls boldly sang, “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want”? They had a point. Figuring out what you want in your career and home life is crucial for achieving balance and fulfilment. Whether you’re navigating parenthood, advancing your career, or juggling both, these practical steps can help you find clarity and direction.

1. Make Yourself Number One

Before you can figure out what you want, taking care of yourself is essential. Reducing stress, improving your mental fitness, and cultivating a positive mindset are key.

Action Steps:

  1. List Your Stressors: Identify what’s causing you stress. Simply acknowledging these can be a huge relief.
  2. Find What Energises You: Reflect on activities that calm and rejuvenate you.
  3. Create Quick Stress-Busters: Whether it’s a 15-minute walk, a 30-minute meditation, or an hour of reading, find small ways to reduce stress.


2. Reduce Overwhelm

You don’t have to do everything. Just do something. Even small progress can make a big difference in how you feel about your accomplishments.

Key Points to remember:

  • Progress Over Perfection: You don’t need to have all the answers right now. Accept that your values and priorities will evolve.
  • Susan Jeffers’ No-Lose Decision-Making Model: View any path you choose as the right one, offering opportunities to learn and grow regardless of the outcome.


3. Clarify Your Values and Priorities

Values guide our decisions and help us prioritize what matters most. Getting clear on your values will fuel your joy, drive, enthusiasm, and resilience.

Questions to Ponder:

  • What matters most to me in my personal life and career?
  • How do I define success in parenthood and my profession?
  • What values do I want to instil in my children?
  • What legacy do I want to leave through my work?



Create a visual representation of your top three values to clarify where to focus your energy.

4. Set Clear, Achievable Goals

Setting goals aligned with your values and priorities provides direction and purpose. Remember, it’s about the journey, not just the destination.

Tips for Goal Setting:

Use the SMART criteria (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to make your goals tangible.

Focus on making progress rather than achieving perfection.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself is crucial. Encourage yourself daily, focusing on effort rather than outcomes.

Daily Practices:

  • Self-Kindness: Speak to yourself as you would a friend.
  • Recognise Your Efforts: List your daily achievements, no matter how small.
  • Celebrate Progress: Measure your progress rather than focusing on where you think you should be.


6. Create an Integrated Routine

A balanced routine helps manage responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.

Routine Tips:

  • Daily Schedule: Include time for work, family, self-care, and hobbies.
  • Set Boundaries: Protect your personal and work time.
  • Flexibility: Adjust your routine as needed to accommodate changing priorities.


7. Embrace Flexibility and Self-Compassion

Life is unpredictable. Be adaptable and give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.

Mindset Shifts:

  • Accept Imperfection: Understand that you can’t do everything perfectly.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge small victories in both your personal and professional life.
  • Self-Care: Take time to recharge and stay motivated.


8. Continuously Evaluate and Adjust

Regularly assess your goals, priorities, and routines to ensure they align with your values and aspirations.

Evaluation Tips:

  1. Reflect on Achievements: Regularly review your progress and challenges.
  2. Seek Feedback: Get input from your partner, children, and colleagues.
  3. Be Open to Change: Adjust your goals or routines as needed.


Figuring out what you want in your personal, parenthood, and professional lives is an ongoing process. Remember, it’s about finding harmony and fulfilment in both areas rather than achieving a perfect ‘balance’. Prioritise what matters most to you and take small, consistent steps toward your goals. If you’re still unsure or need more support, don’t hesitate to seek guidance. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

So, channel your inner Spice Girl and confidently say, “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!” and take the steps to achieve it.

Top Takeaways:


  1. Identify Core Values: Clarify what matters most in your personal and professional life.
  2. Set SMART Goals: Create tangible, achievable goals that align with your values.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Encourage yourself and recognise your progress daily.
  4. Stay Flexible: Be ready to adapt and change course as needed.


Embrace the journey of integrating your personal, parenthood, and professional aspirations and remember to take one step at a time. You’ve got this!

If you want any support with any of these steps feel free to contact me for a no-strings attached chat! (I love to chat!!!!)

Hannah Porteous-Butler is a parent and maternity coach supporting her clients with life transitions brought about by parenthood.  She specialises in career and relationship change and returning to work after a career break/parental leave. A trained neuroscience coach, Hannah takes a holistic approach to her work, delivering long lasting results with the ultimate outcome of helping clients create healthy family dynamics. Please get in touch via Hannah’s profile page or her website