So many of us “fell into” our careers, or followed in the footsteps of our parents, or simply don’t really know how we got here!

On the way life went this way and that, we went from free and single to not so free with kids.


Which leads many of us to reaching a point where we feel like we’re doing something that doesn’t ‘fit’ us anymore.


At best you might feel unfulfilled, bored, and like something’s ‘missing’.


At worst you might feel ill a lot, or burnt out, lonely, or feeling like you’re pushing against something and everything feels hard.


Can you relate?


According to an InherSight study of 3500 women, “a mere 11% of them are happy doing what they’re doing”. Ouch.


But it doesn’t have to be like that!


Before you leap forward to what job you could do next, or life change you could make….




Start by getting back in touch with yourself. Who you are now. What brings you joy. What lights you up. What makes you laugh. What makes you love being alive.


Once you know this, the rest falls into place so much easier – how you live, how you work, what choices and changes you need to make.


Do these 5 steps to start building clarity on what your ‘what next’ looks like.


Step 1 – Look at where you are right now


Step back and take stock of where you are right now, in different areas of your life. Is there something obviously out of balance that’s skewing your view but can easily be rectified? Or is there something more deep seated that needs working on?


Activity to help you: this is an adaptation of a well known coaching tool that’s proven time and again that it’s effective. It’s easy to do and will give you good insight into how you’re feeling about different areas of your life. Here it is, have a go!


Step 2 – Visualise how you’d like to live


Visualise and write out what your day would look like if you were doing what you enjoy, what fills you up, brings you joy, gets you excited. Who are you with? What are you doing? What can you see/hear/smell/feel? Where are you?


Activity to help you: How I’d Love to Live.


Step 3 – Identify your core values


If your values are out of alignment with the work you do or the way you live your life, it’ll feel like you’re constantly butting up against something. So spend some time identifying yours as they are today. They will possibly have changed over the years.


Activity to help you: once you’ve got your core values identified, start a list of your “must-haves” and “non-negotiables”. How are these showing up in your life today? What do you need to do to honour these going forward?


Step 4 – Check your self talk


What are you telling yourself about your ‘what next’? Is it helpful? Is it coming from a place of fear? (Leaving your comfort zone is scary) Or reality? Is it helping you move forward or getting in your way?


Activity to help you: keep a daily journal (notes on your smartphone?) for the next few weeks and see what comes up.


Step 5 – Examine what you’ve got available to you right now


Have a look at your ‘resources’ – inside and out. You, your CV,  your networks (work, clubs, kid connections, online, offline).


Activity to help you: Have some fun and look at yourself as though you’re a product – how would you sell yourself to someone?? (design features? benefits?)


So after reading this, I invite you to write down 1 action that you will commit to doing TODAY that will move you one step forward from where you are at this moment (tip: keep it simple but will make you go YESSSS when you’ve done it!)


As Martin Luther King said,


“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step”.


And enjoy the journey!


This article has been written by Helena Ewers. She is  a qualified and experienced women’s life coach (ICF Accredited Animas Centre for Coaching). If you would like to explore this topic more please book a free 30 min discovery call with Helena using this link: