Are you looking for more balance in your life? You’ve probably googled it and discovered as I did, lots of hints and tips for finding that elusive balance. Maybe some of those articles helped, many of them probably made a lot of sense, but I’m willing to bet that they didn’t lead to lasting change or you suddenly finding that equilibrium that you crave. 

I believe that the challenge is how we think about balance, our mindset, and beliefs. We often reach the end of the day and wonder if we’ve achieved that balance. Sometimes we do and it feels good and sometimes we don’t, and that can leave us feeling guilty, overwhelmed, and inadequate in some way. Of course balance will look different for each of us, despite knowing this we tend to compare ourselves to all the ‘others’ who seem to have achieved that perfect balance. 

Balance is a long game, and often it doesn’t have an endpoint because our view changes as we do, just when we think we’ve got there we change, or our situation does, and the game begins again. Life is a balancing act – everything is in constant motion. When we think about whether we are finding the balance we crave we need to think about it over time, not just one day at a time. Of course, balance isn’t all about focussing on ourselves – balance is how we do the things we have to do and the things we want to do…..without changing the number of hours in the day! 

So before you reach for Google and the latest set of hacks to achieve balance, perhaps think first about your mindset and what needs to shift in your own mind before any of those hacks will have a lasting impact. 

Here are four mindset shifts for you to consider: 

  1. Measure balance over time not just day-to-day 
  2. Accept that you will change over time and so how you measure balance will need to change too 
  3. Feeling guilty about not achieving balance is normal – everyone struggles with this at least some of the time! The good news is that guilt has the potential to motivate us towards positive change 
  4. When you think about balance, integrate all aspects of your life instead of trying to put everything in neat little boxes. Measure balance overall rather than for discrete aspects of your life 

 

And for those of you who like an action, here’s a first step. 

Finding balance is not just about imagining the future you want to create, but also thinking about the process of getting there. Don’t settle for daydreaming, make a plan and list the steps you need to take to begin finding that balance. Then take one step, however small, towards better. 

This article was written by  Melissa Hague,  one of our partner coaches who helps her clients to face risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure with courage and clarity, so that they can be brave with their lives. You can get in touch via her profile page, visiting her website https://www.melissahague.com.    

May 1, 2023