If you’re a morning social media scroller, before we really start our day, we are often bombarded with images of motherhood, of perceived perfection, perceived aspirations and goals. How to create the perfect Christmas experience for our kids or winter activities that look amazing on Instagram, but you know will take so much effort for perhaps only a tiny bit of enjoyment.
So, without me telling you to get rid of all social media, (let’s be honest, it’s sometimes a real escape), how do we pull ourselves back to feeling empowered with our own decisions and living in a way that feels right for us and our families? Below are a few ideas:
- Start your day your way: Perhaps it’s a phrase, a sentence, a few bullets – your WHY for life. Stick it up somewhere you’ll see it every morning. Reconnecting with our purpose can help us to focus in on what feels important to us right now and to cut through the noise of the ‘shoulds’
- Practice self-compassion: We do this all the time with our kids; ‘It’s ok to make mistakes’ or ‘We all have accidents’ (My stock phrase at the moment as we’re deep in potty training!) but we’re not always great at extending that compassion to ourselves. So next time you’ve not managed to tick something off your list, how will you talk to yourself? (e.g., Well done for the things you have done today) or when the calm, gentle parenting techniques go out of the window (e.g., I was overwhelmed, and I’ve repaired with my kids and demonstrated an apology rather than needing to be perfect) Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff is a brilliant read.
- Pockets of calm and joy: This is about the seemingly small things that bring us moments of calm and/or joy. This is a hot brew in the bath (alone!), a 15-minute walk near some trees/water, a quick game of monopoly deal with your partner while the kids watch TV (life-changing version of monopoly!), 10 mins of learning modern calligraphy or origami on YouTube (so very mindful). We sometimes feel pressure to have hobbies or interests and it can feel impossible to fit in. So, my recommendation is to try carving out 10 or 15 mins here and there for you. Rest to Reset by Suzy Reading is a brilliant read to support this idea.
- Embrace Courage: Finally, how do you build the courage to pursue the life you truly want? This might be a career change, starting a business, or simply your own personal interests. Recognising your self-worth and believing in your ability to create positive change. With the right support and determination (that of your family/friends/colleagues/a coach) you can redefine your personal and professional paths.
Suzy Reading, psychologist, yoga teacher and coach, says:
“Peace and calm is not just made up of relaxed muscles and spacious breathing it comes from alignment. If you’re feeling stressed, which of your values are being impinged? Permission to take action darling. Nothing selfish about it – your health and wellbeing depend on it.”
This article was written by Deanne Logan, a maternity, motherhood, leadership and wellbeing coach, advocate for mental health, and L&D consultant. You can get in touch with Deanne at www.careeringintomotherhood.com.
November 1, 2023